Jaycee Woods

When beginning to format my drafted story featuring Bang Bang, an unintelligent cunning half-orc warrior and veteran mercenary, I found it incomplete. Exporting it again, my previous 4k word copy corrected to a more robust 10k+ words.

Unlike other fantasy stories, it isn’t a coming-of-age story or about an epic quest, but instead an alignment check story about a formerly idealistic heroine compromised ethically as she walked the path of vengeance. In the post-drafting notes, I commented, “I thought it an unusual, but more natural take on the emotional side of revenge. Instead of showing revenge being unsatisfying, it showed how horrible revenge must be to cleanse. Not advocating revenge but being honest about its horror and the brutality of a violent life.”

Plot-wise it is a simple story. While on a job gathering herbs in the forest for the town’s cleric, Bang Bang finds an injured nearly dead Yuna. Using skills learned while campaigning with a mercenary company, he treats her wounds. After a fight defeating an ogre, Yuna’s party had abandoned her to die. For a promise of payment, Bang Bang takes her back to town where he continues to treat her wounds. While in town, he finds that Yuna’s former companions are staying at the inn. The remainder of the story is Bang Bang and Yuna planning then executing her revenge, in which she kills the former friends who betrayed her.

Below is a clip from the draft.

** Snip **

Too weak to protest, Yuna did not respond. She just laid there groaning in pain as he treated her wounds. After he finished, she quietly moaned, “T-Thank you.” She slowly opened her eyes a bit and looked up at him, then closed her eyes as she lay in exhaustion.

He said, “Your ass kicked.”

Yuna slowly nodded her head then spoke quietly and gently, “Y-Yes. I w-was betrayed.” She weakly closed her eyes again. Her breathing was slow and steady as she lay there, her face completely exhausted.

He judged, “Maybe, you in wrong business.”

Yuna shook her head, slowly opened her eyes, then looked up at him. “I’ve been in this business for years…This is the first time something like this has ever happened,” she spoke weakly as she slowly tried to get up but fell back down with groans of pain.

He said, “First time…last time…often same. You probably live ‘til next time.”

Yuna thought for a moment, then slowly nodded. She strained to speak in a quiet and gentle tone, “You’re right.” Closing her eyes again, she rested on her back accompanied by stifled groans and moans. Her body felt heavy to her. As she lay there battered, she wondered to herself, ‘Am I too broken to recover?’

He pressed so she would remain conscious as he monitored her mental responses for symptoms of a deeper head injury, “Tell me about betrayers.”