Sometimes when editing, it is easy to get hung up on picking just the right word…focusing on trees instead of the forest (the story). Below is an exchange I had with Copilot working through ideas related to editing a sentence. If you read my draft chapter “Harvest of Blood” from Boudica and The Butcher, then you might recognize the context of that sentence.
Prompt: Suggest alternative expression to ‘cut down.’
Copilot: Sure! Here are some alternative expressions for “cut down”:
- Reduce
- Trim
- Slash
- Decrease
- Diminish
- Scale back
- Pare down
- Lower
- Chop down
- Fell
Prompt: Context: “Removing the statues cut down the inhibitions that held fast the dogs of war.”
Copilot: Given your context, here are some alternative expressions for “cut down”:
- Dissolved
- Eroded
- Dismantled
- Shattered
- Broke down
- Undermined
- Weakened
- Eliminated
- Swept away
- Abolished
For example: “Removing the statues dissolved the inhibitions that held fast the dogs of war.”
Feel free to choose the one that best fits the tone and style of your story! If you need more suggestions or have other parts of your story you’d like help with, just let me know.
Prompt: So, the reworded sentence is “Perhaps the desecration and destruction of old statutes memorializing the first American Civil War weakened the inhibitions caging the dogs of war.” Thoughts?
Copilot: Your reworded sentence is powerful and evocative! It effectively conveys the idea of how the destruction of statues could lead to a breakdown of societal restraints. Here are a couple of minor tweaks for smoother flow and clarity:
“Perhaps the desecration and destruction of old statues memorializing the first American Civil War weakened the inhibitions that caged the dogs of war.”
Adding “that” before “caged” helps clarify the relationship between the inhibitions and the dogs of war.
Prompt: I had removed ‘that’ based on a writer’s tip saying to eliminate ‘that’ as a possibly unnecessary word. Using that sounds like more natural speech but this sentence is in narrative. Thoughts?
Copilot: That’s a great point! The advice to eliminate “that” can help streamline writing, but it’s important to balance clarity and flow, especially in narrative prose. In your sentence, “that” helps clarify the relationship between the inhibitions and the dogs of war, making the sentence easier to understand.
However, if you prefer a more streamlined approach, you could consider rephrasing slightly to maintain clarity without “that”:
“Perhaps the desecration and destruction of old statues memorializing the first American Civil War weakened the inhibitions caging the dogs of war.”
Both versions work well, so it ultimately depends on your stylistic preference. Your narrative voice and the overall tone of your story should guide your choice. If you have more sentences or need further assistance, feel free to share!
Prompt: So, basically it is one of those ‘there isn’t a wrong answer because English is flexible’ so simply choose?
Copilot: Exactly! English is indeed flexible, and many stylistic choices come down to personal preference and the tone you want to set in your narrative. Both versions of your sentence are correct, so you can choose the one that feels right for your story. If you ever feel unsure, you can always read the sentence aloud or in the context of the surrounding text to see which version flows better. Trust your instincts as a writer!
Jaycee Woods 
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