A Boy Named Gaylord

The other day Dankula made a joke about Gaylord Perry’s first name. Back in the 70s when Perry was playing, I don’t recall giving his first name a second thought. Looking at stats for baby names, it is a name that took a dive in popularity decades ago.

There might be a story out of that name, one with “A Boy Named Sue” vibe. In our times of openness and anti-bullying, I think the school children would make an exception for him. While wanting to be called Gil, he hated the attendance called on the first day of school or when there was a substitute teacher when his given name would be called in front of the class. Worse was whenever he was in trouble and his mother would shout his given name in front of others.

His mother will be single and never wanted to have a kid. She would be the type of feminist who would say, “I’m pregnant but I don’t know whether I am having a girl or an abortion.” She hadn’t had an abortion because she delayed to act until after the new state cutoff timeframe. Naming him was an intentional cruel political act by her. She is a Wiccan who believes she is a witch.

The story would be about the year Gil had a male classroom teacher. It would dramatize the impact of male mentorship on a dad deprived boy. Gil develops self discipline and becomes a good student for the first time. It would be rooted in the positive role high school coaches play too late in boys who grew up without dad, but this story would highlight earlier intervention through academics.